By Dean Kirkland, Publisher, Affluent Golfer
Somewhere between the last practice ball and the first tee, a perfectly serviceable golf swing occasionally goes missing. No forwarding address. No note. Just a golfer holding a driver and wondering what happened to the promising young talent who was over there ten minutes ago.
Welcome to the world of the practice-range champion, a character who belongs quite comfortably in Yips & Shanks, Affluent Golfer’s humor department.
A trophy before the tee time
Picture our entirely imaginary champion arriving with a modest bucket and an ambitious plan. The first few balls require a little negotiation. Then one flies straight. Another follows. A third makes such a lovely sound that it seems rude not to admire the finish.
By ball twelve, the swing is fixed. By ball twenty, the golfer is mentally revising the afternoon’s score. By the bottom of the bucket, a small presentation ceremony would not feel unreasonable.
There are advantages to this particular championship. Every lie is conveniently familiar. Nobody asks for a final score. A disappointing shot can be followed immediately by another, which is a very agreeable system and one we should probably discuss at the next committee meeting.
Then comes the first tee. One ball. One chance to make a sensible decision. Suddenly, the target seems considerably narrower than it did from the practice mat. The swing that inspired such confidence has apparently stayed behind to sign autographs.
The optimism is part of the game
This is the kind of affectionate nonsense that makes golf worth writing about. We can laugh at the heroic rehearsal without pretending that practice is pointless. We can appreciate a beautiful course and still enjoy the small comedy of a player who has diagnosed, cured and rediscovered the same fault before lunch.
Yips & Shanks makes room for that side of the game: the confidence, the explanations and the remarkable ability to believe that the next shot will settle everything. Our imaginary range champion may not have won anything, but the enthusiasm deserves a decent place on the mantelpiece.
Explore Yips & Shanks and the wider world of Affluent Golfer. There is plenty to enjoy around the game, including the occasional victory that takes place entirely before it starts.
Original humorous commentary written for Affluent Golfer. The golfer and episode described are fictional. Header: original AI-generated illustration created for Affluent Golfer, depicting an imagined practice range.
